mix tapes

So when we were young, the thing to do was make mix tapes. I remember taping directly from the radio, pausing between songs, trying not to have duplicates. As I got older, they became jokes, "What, you made him a mix tape?" *sneer*

Now, in these days of technology, we make mix CDs, or possibly mix iPod playlists. Gone are the days of going through tapes, syncing up and trying to rewind those three seconds to make it perfectly timed.

A friend of mine recently made me a couple of mix CDs. I listened to them, now and then reading a bit of the notes she sent along with them. Today was the first day I listened all the way through, reading the entire letter. Let's just say I am glad I was having a strong day. Her life and mine had parallels, we've thought and felt the same things. It's funny how music speaks to people and creates a pocket of a memory you can call up at a few notes. Some of the songs totally made me feel the same way. Others, I had strong memories of my own.

"Losing my Religion" will always be a parody song to me. In our HS, we had the requisite high achiever. He happened to hook up with one of the 'easy' girls. Rumor had it that one night he lost his virginity to her. Then spent an hour in the shower trying to wash everything off to assure he didn't catch anything from her (no word on what she felt about this post-coital sterilization attempt). So, among my friends, the song lyrics, "That's me in the shower. That's me in the spotlight, losing my virginity. Trying to wash the stank of you...but I don't know if I could do it..." became almost as popular as the song.

I'm glad I had those moments to make me smile, because just knowing my friend cared so much, that she knew I hurt often, that my self-esteem is so low, that I need to take care of myself more, it made me cry in a bittersweet way. I knew I wasn't calling out into the darkness with nobody hearing. There is someone there who cares.