It's not the waiting!

(first let me warn you, although this is the last of three entries today, it will show up first, so get ready for a blogfest)

After taking steps and making calls yesterday, I realized that my impression of my impatience was wrong. I always thought I could not stand uncertainty, couldn't stand waiting and not knowing. That's not it! It's the waiting and not doing. As soon as I start taking steps, preparing for the future one way or the other, my heart settles.

I am starting on a path and I am content to see where it leads me. I am not dragged along. I donned my hiking boots and grabbed a water bottle and set off with enthusiasm. This has happened before, and is certain to happen again. But whether it's moving, career, family, love...if I feel I am preparing myself for the future, I have no fears of it.

Because of a conversation with a former advisor, I learned all preparation doesn't have to be tangible. It can be spiritual and emotional also. I'm am learning where to go to find my peace, what liferaft I can cling to. I won't even stop and regret not asking for the help long ago. I will only rechoice that I have asked for it, and found it now.