Letting go of the Shoulds

Part of not huddling inside myself and holding onto the pain means that I am becoming not just a 'there' mom, not just a 'come cuddle a bit' mom, but a 'more fun' mom. We're establishing little routines to build fun into our days. We joke, we tickle, we laugh.

The kids love when I try to sleep in and they gang up on me giving me tummy gummies. They love to dance around the room and have me film them. They love a breakfast of chocolate chip pancakes.

But in addition to these little rituals that remind me to not just be loving, but fun also, I have started to recognize that letting go of the shoulds is a big step towards fun. For instance, extra chocolate chip pancakes cooked and saved for another time are extra special and silly when they become dinner. Breakfast for dinner? You're crazy mom! So simple and yet such smiles and giggles.

This morning, one of my favorite 'letting go of the should' event occurred. Everyone was ready to head out the door. We had close to fifteen whole free minutes, because we had been free from dawdling that morning. No stress, no worries. Wow, a morning where we should sit and savor, or maybe leave early to take C. to school and really enjoy the walk.

Instead, C. asked me to teach him to cartwheel. It was a crazy idea, but I showed him the steps. He managed a couple assisted and I was amazed at myself for still being able to do one. J. tried her hardest, but when I took her waist to help her flip, she just melted into a puddle. We all collapsed into giggles. Soon, we got up and tried again, this time somersaults. J. actually tried and did pretty well at that, C. was an expert and it's been so long since I turned a somersault, I forgot the head rush you could get from one. Dizzy and looking at my laughing kids, I resolved to remember that the shoulds don't always take priority. Sometimes the alternatives are better for the spirit.