Second Child Syndrome

Does this happen with every second child? I need persepective.

This keeps coming back to me. More recently because I was looking for something for C and pulled out his baby book and baby box. Shuffling through the cards welcoming him to the world, I couldn't help but get teary eyed thinking what J's box would look like when she wanted to see it years from now. Two cards.

It's not the amount, it's not the gifts, it's the thought that matters, right? But I can't help but think that people just don't celebrate her existence. And it hurts. Even through my depression, I have tried to celebrate with the other mothers I know when a new soul comes into their lives. And I know that they usually do the same. I have seen it.

But that commemerative first year in J's life just seemed to go by unnoticed and uncelebrated for the most part. For the friend or two that looked at her and loved her, it meant so much. I just want to yell about how special she is, how planned, how wanted. She matters just as much as all the other kids that get fawned over.

Maybe this is just a second child thing. And maybe this is just projection. Because I feel like I am the same. In the shadows and forgotten. Only she is light, and people should be able to see her shine.