I Can't!

I was supposed to go hang out with a friend today, but I can't. I just keep coming up with reasons why I can't leave the house. I'm honestly trying to force myself, but I just can't seem to. J is sick, but that's just part of it. She's acting ok, just a cough.

I am so down, and it is such a habit to be alone I just can't seem to break it. How do you break a habit that's been years in the making when it's easier to remain status quo? How do you punch through that emotional barrier that makes you scared, sad, stressed and angry all at once?

I just don't want to be me anymore, but I don't know how to fix it if I can't even take that first step out of the front door.