2 + 2 =

Sometimes the answer is harder to find than the question. I was going through J's old pictures yesterday, reliving her early- well, her first year. Looking at the first family pictures, at 2weeks old, J already had bad baby acne. I remember scheduling the pictures then because I was hoping we'd do it before the acne set in. I read in The Baby Book that early onset of baby acne could be a sign of a milk sensitivity. When I mentioned it to my Kaiser appointed pediatrician, he blew it off. Of course, after my experience with peds and C and this particular ped insisting we owed it to society to risk our newborn by giving her the HepB vaccine, I should have known better than to listen. I shook off the feelings of disquiet and went about the new adventure of being a new mom to two.

Seeing pictures of J when she was oh so chubby, I thought, "I barely remember that stage!" Why? Because J suffered from colic. At night esp, we could never settle her. One thing never worked a second time. I was so sleep deprived that that's when I sank into depression. Not only that, but she got her first ear infection early on. C has not had an ear infection yet (and is past the age where that's a strong possibility). I put it to second baby syndrome. But now, looking back, I recall that is another sign of milk sensitivity.

Through my sleep depravation and depression, I remember discovering a dry patch on her leg. I felt so guilty, thinking, "What kind of care did I take of my baby that she had this and how long and why didn't I notice?" But it wouldn't go away! She now has a permanent patch of skin on her hand that I am 95% sure is eczema. That's...well, you probably already guessed it. Another sign of a milk sensitivity.

I really feel that if I had a pediatrician that had respected my instincts as a mother early on, we might have been able to avoid the worst of the colic, the eczema, the red dots that still show up around her mouth and even some of my depression. Because when I went on Weight Watchers and didn't think dairy was worthy of very many points, suddenly J and I were both happier. She was less fussy at night and I got more sleep. The depression was still there, once one of my bouts starts, it stays unless there are major changes and each one is worse than the last. But the sleep depravation part of it was gone.

Yet another lesson I can't trust it to one medical practitioner to look beyond his nose and I should always do my own research also. Because, sometimes, it is hard to see that 2+2=4.