My Wounded Child was Validated

I forgot to post about something that happened while my sister was here. Maybe I did but didn't give it its due attention. Given everything that went on at the time, I'm sure those of you in the know will understand.

My sister has been trying to find some people from her past. She found our uncle, he tends to just 'take off' and we go decades without knowing where he is. She also found a neighbor friend of ours from when we lived in Alaska. They had a long talk and this person told her she always felt badly for us. She was a teenager then and we were around 8-10 yrs old. When she found out that sis was visiting me, she told my sister (basically):

You tell Bree I remember how your mom treated her. How she took things out on Bree worse than the other kids. Just let her know that if she ever has doubts about how it felt being treated like that, that I validate her and her pain.

When me sis came downstairs to tell me this, we just hugged and cried. I am not trying to take away from the pain of my siblings, we all had a shitty mother and a dad what made many mistakes. But in the 'original three' I was often the scapegoat for mom until I moved in with dad. Even dad admitted to letting mom's venom against me affect how severely he punished me.

But even now, remembering what someone on the outside saw and felt and cared for me, I cry. It is not all in my head. It isn't here in my life just because I am screwed up intrinsically, it was brought to my life by parents who should have treasured me.

So I just wanted to share. If you're like me and you think even the emotional problems you have are your fault. That being a better kid would have meant a better life, I encourage you to seek validation from someone who knew you then. Neighbors, friends, teachers...whoever. Odds are, you will find you were just a child, trying to learn and grow. It was that adult in your life that wasn't good enough, wasn't strong enough to stand up to the task at hand and be your nurturer. It's a hard truth to accept if you tend to take blame on yourself, but this helps, just one step, but it helps.