woohoo

i fixed it- just switched to a new template. now what pearls of wisdom will I drop?I have so many things I think about then I forget in the day to day activities.

celebrity gossip:
did it strike anyone else as a coincidence (slightly ironic) that on Friends, Anniston's character had a vaginal birth w/ a breech baby. And IRL Jolie had a c-section w/ a footling breech (the tv baby was butt first IIRC).

mental status:
I'm almost scared at how hard things are to understand lately. It's like there's just no more room in my brain. I get so stressed out because I can't seem to grasp things like I used to. Like this whole comments thing. HTML- totally threw me. Yet, I have been known to HTML a webpage in the past.

guilt trips:
DH doesn't really want anything to do with his father. He says no regrets, he doesn't want the drama in his life. But he admits if it wasn't for the family, he might not take that step. I can't help but feel guilty because he might one day regret this. Oddly enough I did the same thing with my mom- too much drama, too little attachment. But that was happening before I even graduated high school.

kids:
man, it is hard to be a parent, but how could I love them more? I honestly think they are the best of who I am.

weight:
I beat myself up over it, yet keep on with the eating habits.

THAT Family

You know, the one you marry into. How many mother-in-law jokes there? There must be a reason for all that. After almost ten years of marriage and moving thousands of miles away mainly to get away from the in-laws, I still don't know what the answers are.

Is it just because you're used to your family's way of doing things? Is it because they're used to theirs? I don't know, but it can sure make for some tense situations. And even more so if either family is even slightly disfunctional.

My father-in-law drinks. He called one night shortly after we were married, drunk as all get out and proceeds to tell my husband what a lousy son he is. He's so loud I can hear him and I'm just sitting next to my husband in bed. Horrified, I say "Well, you should tell him that's he hasn't been much of a father either." FIL hears that and starts in on hubby "Slap your bitch and tell her to shut up." Of course hubby refuses to follow FIL's advice and hangs up. FIL calls back, I answer, refuse to put hubby on the phone and hang up. FIL calls back and tells me I do not hang up on him (what- who was paying the bills at that time? ME) CLICK. what followed was some serious ranting into our answering machine and a few garden variety threats thrown in.

Now. What in this man's life made him think he could verbally abuse ANYONE, much less his only child? My father drank too. Even at his worst he would never talk to any of us kids the way FIL talked to hubby that night.

So, is it just a difference of upbringing, or does marrying into a family really create these problems? I contemplate this on an island thousands of miles away from my in-laws. I chose to move here mostly to get away from them. And as homesick and as lonely as I am, the mere thought of being near them again holds me from moving back. I'm in no rush to go through the stress they put me through.